


i'll be home for christmas

by MayJestic



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bang Chan is Whipped, Bang Chan is a Good Significant Other, Bang Chan is a Mess, Bang Chan-centric, Banter, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Music, Christmas Presents, Christmas Tree, Fluff, Guitars, Han Jisung | Han is a Good Friend, Han Jisung | Han is a Little Shit, Hugging, Hwang Hyunjin is a Good Friend, I FEEL SO FUCKING SOFT, Idiots in Love, Kim Seungmin is So Done, Kim Seungmin is a Little Shit, Kissing, Lee Felix is Whipped (Stray Kids), Lee Minho | Lee Know is a Little Shit, Love, Love songs, M/M, Mistletoe, Seo Changbin is So Done, Seo Changbin is a Little Shit, Singing, Slow Dancing, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Sweet Hwang Hyunjin, Teasing, True Love, Yang Jeongin | I.N is a Little Shit, i feel like a different person, not a single word of angst, this is literally 5000 words of fluff, you know what that means
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28047345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayJestic/pseuds/MayJestic
Summary: Changbin is so done with all of them. Jeongin is traumatized. Jisung can't stop gagging. Hyunjin weirdly enjoys all of this. Chan is an idiot in love - Felix isn't faring much better.Or: After months of hard work, the guys finally get a day off - and that on Christmas.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 22
Kudos: 180





	i'll be home for christmas

**Author's Note:**

> christmas is around the corner and i felt like i had to contribute
> 
> this fic is like my baby, i poured my heart and soul into this 
> 
> anyway, i don't have much to say, i hope you guys enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing this <3
> 
> [all plot points are fictional and entirely from my imagination. i am not trying to put words into other people's mouths. i do not support or condone delusional shipping - this fanfiction was written without any malicious intent and is for entertainment purposes only.]

Chan wakes up to panicked screaming on a Thursday.  
  
He lets out a grunt, rubbing at his eyes to get himself to wake up properly.  
  
It takes Chan a couple of seconds to realize what's happening.  
  
His alarm didn't ring. The others are already awake.  
  
_He overslept._  
  
All of a sudden, Chan feels more awake than ever. He throws his blanket to the side and jumps down the ladder of his bunk bed in one clean stride. In a rush, Chan grabs the next best clothes he can find - he gets stuck in the holes of his shirt and almost stumbles and falls trying to put the pants on. Once Chan is dressed, he takes his phone off the night stand, almost rips the bedroom door out of its hinges as he opens it and sprints down the hall into the kitchen.  
  
To his surprise, the dorm isn't on fire. Actually, the smell that hits the eldest's nose is quite pleasant, like cinnamon and almonds.  
  
Chan is confused, to say the least.  
  
"Oh, hey, Chan-hyung!" The call of his name brings Chan back to reality. He looks in the direction of the voice and spots Felix behind the kitchen counter, stirring a bowl of something. "Sleep well?"  
  
"Fine," he answers, sounding out of breath. "Just one question - what's going on?" He remembers that they have a schedule for today and Felix is _baking_. The younger immediately gets what he means and lets out an 'ah'.  
  
"Our schedule was cancelled. We wanted to let you sleep in," Felix explains, dumping a bag of chocolate chips into the mixture. Chan immediately feels himself deflate with relief. "I'm baking cookies. The first batch is already in the oven. You can have some once they're done." Chan hums, his torso filling with warmth.  
  
"And the others?" A smirk creeps onto Felix's lips.  
  
"Go see for yourself. They're in the living room." Chan snorts. They were basically impossible to overhear.  
  
Just as he wants to turn around to see what the kids are doing, Felix calls his name once more, pointing at his cheek. Chan can't help but laugh.  
  
"Of course, babe," he says, leaning over the counter and pressing a peck to the skin. Felix smiles contentedly, the tip of his nose going red.  
  
Chan isn't even the least bit prepared for what awaits him in the living room.  
  
Jeongin and Minho are sprawled out on the couch playing Mario Kart. Jeongin screams in anguish as he comes in second place. Minho earns himself a high-five from Jisung.  
  
With the help of a step-stool, Changbin is hanging up fairy lights right above the TV, Minho nagging at him that he's blocking the view when he's obviously not just to go on his nerves. Seungmin is standing off to the side, making sure that Changbin doesn't fall and snap his neck.  
  
Hyunjin and Jisung are decorating the Christmas tree in the corner of the room. _The Christmas tree_. They never have one, their schedules way too packed to be properly bothered with decorating, and it triggers something like childish excitement inside of Chan. There are boxes filled with lights and garlands and ornaments and Christmas balls littered around the room. Chan didn't even know they had this much stuff.  
  
Hyunjin is wrapping a chain of lights around the tree. The tree is even taller than him. Jisung is rummaging through the box, pulling out a big, red, fluffy garland. His eyes visibly light up.  
  
Chan is standing in the middle of the room like a deer caught in the headlights and suddenly everyone's eyes are on him.  
  
"What's up, sleepy head?", Jisung asks, sounding like he's having the time of his life. "Did you enjoy those couple extra hours?" Chan knows he's being teased, but he can't deny that he feels rested.  
  
"Very much, thank you," Chan says to no one in particular. "Can you guys tell me what's happening?"  
  
"The schedule got cancelled. Our manager said to enjoy the day off and celebrate a little," Minho answers, his eyes still focused on the screen.  
  
"Why am I only hearing about this now?"  
  
"We specifically told our manager not to tell you," Changbin confesses, letting out a small grunt as he struggles with the lights. 'You sure you don't want me to hang them up?', Hyunjin pipes up from the other side of the room, obviously poking fun at Changbin for his height. Changbin looks about ready to murder the younger. Hyunjin giggles.  
  
"It was supposed to be a surprise," Changbin says when the crease between Chan's eyebrows doesn't flatten. Chan nods then, affection blooming in his chest as his lips curl into a small smile. "Felix even turned off your alarm so you could sleep in."  
  
"You could have at least warned me, I almost got a heart attack this morning thinking I overslept," Chan says without any bite, a small chuckle following. "But still, I appreciate it."  
  
"Yeah, you look like you were in a hurry," Seungmin remarks, something devilish sparkling in his eyes. "You're wearing Felix's shirt." Chan's eyes immediately dart downwards and yes - he's in fact wearing Felix's shirt. He feels his ears go red.  
  
"I just took whatever was lying on the floor."  
  
"Clearly," Seungmin snorts. Chan hears Jeongin let out a 'gross'.  
  
"Guys," Felix calls from the kitchen. "Cookies are done!" All of a sudden, everyone drops what they were doing and races towards the kitchen. Chan can't help but laugh as he follows them.  
  
The guys are crowded around a tray filled with star-shaped cookies. Jisung recklessly shoves one into his mouth and seems to immediately regret it as he pants because of the heat. Seungmin rolls his eyes.  
  
"Slow down, they're still hot!", Felix warns, sounding like a worried mother. The others react with almost immediate pouts.  
  
Chan moves to stand next to his boyfriend, leaning against the counter as they watch their bandmates mingle among themselves.  
  
"You look good in my shirt," Felix mumbles, leaning in. "Really surprised me when I saw you. You're usually not this domestic in front of the others."  
  
"I was in a rush because I thought I was late and grabbed the first shirt I saw," Chan confesses. "But I can't say I don't like it." He watches as a smile creeps onto Felix's lips and wraps an arm around his waist, pulling him close.  
  
"Felix, these cookies are _immaculate,_ " Jisung exclaims around a mouth-full of the baked goods. Next to Chan, Felix lets out a laugh.  
  
"Can confirm," Changbin quips.  
  
"Agreed," says Jeongin while shoving another cookie into his mouth despite not having finished eating the first one yet.  
  
"Thanks, guys," Felix replies, all the affection in the world in his eyes.  
  
Chan wonders if Felix ever watches him like this when he's not looking.  
  
"So," Chris starts, trying to get the attention of his groupmates. "What's the plan? Now that we have the day off?"  
  
"Why are you asking us?", Hyunjin questions, hand on his hip.  
  
"Changbin said this was supposed to be a surprise," Chan says, unable to keep the grin off his lips. "So surprise me."  
  
Everyone's facial expressions are absolutely priceless - they look so stumped, their mouths hanging open.  
  
And then, suddenly, Chan is being bombarded by a thousand ideas.  
  
"We could do a movie marathon," Jisung suggests, shrugging his shoulders as he goes for another cookie.  
  
"Impossible. We take hours just deciding on a movie," Seungmin objects, his arms folded.  
  
"We could play on the Switch."  
  
"What, two people at once while the others watch?"  
  
"Hyung, we could go work out! I know it keeps your head clear on a day off," Jeongin proposes, sounding how he always does when he gets super excited about something. Minho looks about ready to dispute the youngest's suggestion when Chan lets out a laugh. Everyone stares at him confusedly.  
  
"You do know it's Christmas and not my birthday, right?"  
  
"That's why it's so special," Jisung emphasizes. "This is the first day off we've had in what? Months? And that on _Christmas_. I want this to be good."  
  
"Then why don't we plan something that's going to be good for all of us and not just me?", Chris asks into the room. The others only nod timidly and shrug their shoulders in answer. He shakes his head with a snort.  
  
Chan's gaze wanders towards Felix still pressed against his side who has barely said anything the entire time, only to be met with two hazel orbs already staring back at him. The expression on his boyfriend's face is unreadable.  
  
Chan gets too caught up in the moment, in trying to read his emotions, in _Felix_. A gag from across the kitchen breaks him out of his trance.  
  
The boys are all mustering them with varying levels of disgust - Jisung is still gagging, Jeongin is stuck mid-bite off a cookie and Hyunjin has a hand in front of his mouth. Felix hides his head in the crook of Chan's neck.  
  
"You guys are fucking disgusting," Jisung says after he's recovered somewhat.  
  
"I actually think they're quite adorable," Hyunjin confesses, the sound muffled by his hand.  
  
"Guys," Chan warns, feeling the tips of his ears go red and desperately wanting the attention diverted to something else. "What are we going to do?"  
  
"Well, we can't do anything until the decorations are up," Changbin reminds them.  
  
"Then why don't you guys keep transforming the living room into a winter wonderland and afterwards we'll see?", Chan suggests - they all nod.  
  
"Will do, captain," Jisung responds with a salute. Chan shooes them out the kitchen with a hand motion - everyone filters out one after one.  
  
It's in that moment that Chan notices the music running over their Alexa. I'll Be Home for Christmas by Michael Bublé. Felix seems to notice it, too, his eyes visibly lighting up.  
  
"Oh, I love that song," he breathes out, turning around and increasing the volume. "Dance with me!" At first Chan thinks that he's joking - but Felix is suddenly holding out a hand in invitation.  
  
He's really serious about this.  
  
"What?", Chan asks with a small chuckle. "I think you inhaled a little too much flour while baking, love."  
  
"Today's a special day. On special days, you do special things," Felix tries to persuade him, his hands crossed behind his back. "So, come dance with me."  
  
Chan is about to say something about how he can't bribed, when suddenly, Felix activates his puppy-eyes.  
  
Chan wonders if he does that intentionally, if he knows just how powerful he is, or if it happens naturally. Either way, Chan is too weak of a man to resist, so he takes Felix's hand.  
  
Chan's hands are wrapped around Felix's waist, while Felix's arms are resting on Chan's shoulders. They begin swaying in circles, their feet shimmying across the kitchen tiles.  
  
Felix's pupils are dilated to the point where Chan feels like he's going to get lost in a pool of black. Felix looks content, at peace.  
  
He looks like a man in love.  
  
"Have you ever done this before?", Chan asks to save himself, although he does feel genuinely curious.  
  
"In high school," Felix responds simply, one of his hands straying towards Chan's hair. The older basks in the fluffy feelings the action leaves in his chest.  
  
"Who did you dance with?"  
  
"A girl from my class," Felix says, twirling the strands of hair at the back of Chan's neck between his fingers. The older feels a shiver run down his spine. "She was nice. Just not really what I would have preferred." Chan barely suppresses a gasp.  
  
"You wanted to dance with a guy," Chan wonders, more a statement than a question. Felix nods, somber.  
  
"I had a crush on someone from my grade," Felix begins explaining - Chan can see a light blush spread on his cheeks. "Even if he had liked me back, we wouldn't have been able to dance together - Catholic school and all that. All the people who danced together were heterosexual couples, I didn't want to be the only odd one." Felix smiles at Chan then, his eyes crinkling at the edges.  
  
Suddenly, Felix is drawing Chan close - the older simply lets himself he pulled into his boyfriend's embrace.  
  
They're hugging. They're hugging and slow-dancing in the middle of the kitchen. Chan feels like he's going to lose his mind.  
  
"But it doesn't matter anymore now. Not when I'm with you," Felix murmurs right into his ear, his voice a deep rumble. "Not when I'm dancing with the one I love." Chan can't do anything but grip him that extra bit tighter.  
  
For a moment nothing else matters but Felix against him, the warmth he's bleeding into Chan's hands resting on his waist, how he's softly breathing into the older's neck. For a moment nothing else matters but Felix.  
  
Only for a moment, though.  
  
"Guys!", Jisung calls, footsteps approaching the kitchen - Chan and Felix jump apart as if burned. "We're- woah." The both of them are still standing suspiciously close, Chan rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.  
  
"Did I interrupt something?"  
  
"No, you're good," Chan replies, his voice sounding pained even to his own ears. Felix snorts. "What's up?"  
  
"We just finished decorating," Jisung says, pointing behind him. "If you wanna come check it out." Both Chan and Felix nod, silently following the younger into the living room.  
  
It's quite the sight - the fairy lights above the TV, the Christmas tree decorated in red and gold in the corner, a wreath hanging on the wall instead of their usual pictures. Chan can't help but let out a gasp, a smile creeping onto his lips.  
  
It makes Chan feel nostalgic. It reminds him of his childhood in Australia, when he would decorate the tree together with his mother, when his dad used to pick him up and let him put the star on top, when he'd hang the stockings on the fireplace.  
  
It reminds him of home.  
  
The oldest suddenly notices the six pairs of eyes looking at him expectantly.  
  
"You did a great job," Chan tells them honestly. "Man, I feel like I'm back home for Christmas for the first time in years. Our tree used to look like that." They all nod in gratitude.  
  
"You know, my favorite decoration is the one right above you," Seungmin remarks, his grin morphing into something devilish. The others all have similar expression on their faces. Chan can't help but frown, turning his gaze upwards.  
  
Right there, pinned into the door frame, dangles a mistletoe above Chan's and Felix's heads.  
  
"A mistletoe? Are you kidding?", Chan asks.  
  
"Dead serious."  
  
"You know what that means, hyung," Minho says, his tone teasing. He rubs it in by making kissing sounds.  
  
"Why do you guys want to see us kiss?"  
  
"Two people who kiss under a mistletoe will be a happy couple," Changbin begins explaining, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweats. "You know, you should honor traditions." Chan feels his cheeks go red and he can't help but hide his face in his hands.  
  
"Besides, we don't want you guys to feel like you can't be all lovey-dovey and gross around us," Jisung continues, making some weird gesture. "So here you have your chance."  
  
"You could have just told us that," Chan says, letting his arms fall back to his sides.  
  
"But that wouldn't have been as fun as seeing you embarrassed," Minho responds while flopping down on the couch, his lips turned upwards into a sly smile. Chan can't help but roll his eyes.  
  
Felix is suddenly looking at him, a silent question in his eyes. Chan obviously knows what it means.  
  
He's asking for consent.  
  
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," Felix murmurs quietly, only for the two of them to hear. "You know I don't mind." Chan is so grateful for Felix in that moment.  
  
Felix is always there to care about him, to pay attention to his limits, to show him that he respects Chan and his needs - it makes the older feel overwhelmed in the best way.  
  
"Gotta honor traditions, right?", Chan asks teasingly, a smile on his lips. He hopes he gets the message across like this.  
  
Suddenly, Felix is cupping his cheek and slotting his lips against Chan's own. The kiss barely lasts a second but it manages to give the older butterflies nonetheless.  
  
Jisung gags once more and Chan quickly whips his head in the direction of the sound. Hyunjin and Jeongin are facing each other, their arms thrown in the air as they make unintelligible noises. Seungmin is pinching the bridge of his nose.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Jisung says, a hand in front of his mouth. "But I just can't."  
  
"You do know you wanted this, right?", Chan asks.  
  
"Yeah, and I regret _everything_."  
  
"Oh, I regret nothing," Minho pipes from the sofa, phone in hand, his thumbs dancing across the screen.  
  
"You took a _photo_?"  
  
"I took a video, in fact." Chan can't help but let out a groan. Felix is running a soothing hand over his back.  
  
"What are you going to do with it?", Chan questions, sounding paranoid even to his own ears. Barely a moment later a bunch of phones give a quick ring, including his own. Chan barely supresses the urge to face-palm.  
  
Minho sent it to the Stray Kids group chat.  
  
"You sent it to the group chat? Really?"  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"I'm not sure I can trust all of you to handle the video responsibly," Chan says honestly. Hyunjin is grasping a hand over his chest, right above his heart, making some type of wounded noise.  
  
"I can't believe you'd hurt me like this, hyung," he cries, sounding as dramatic as ever. Chan rolls his eyes.  
  
"So, what's the plan for today?"  
  
When everyone's mouth curls into a grin, Chan knows that he isn't the least bit prepared.  
  
The oldest's eyeballs almost pop up out of their sockets when barely five minutes later the boys carry a karaoke machine they borrowed from the company into the living room.  
  
It starts out pretty peaceful, with the lot of them actually trying for a change - at least until Changbin proposes that whoever gets the highest score on All I Want for Christmas is You has to pay for dinner. When Felix tries to hit the high note at the end of the song and messes it up on purpose, Chan almost throws up from laughing so hard. As expected, Seungmin ends up getting the highest score. That boy can't sing off-pitch for the life of him.  
  
Despite everyone's expectations, they actually manage to choose a movie fitting for the occasion - Home Alone. Chan's seen it about a dozen times but it never fails to pull a couple laughs from him. But the reason he enjoys it so much is the nostalgia more than anything else.  
  
And a sleepy, and therefor cuddly, Felix pressed into his side makes it all the better.  
  
They order sushi after the movie - Chan finds the look of resentment on Seungmin's face when he sees the entire bill more than just amusing.  
  
Dinner itself is nice. Hyunjin and Jisung are arguing over which 'Home Alone' is the best. Felix is rambling about a new recipe he wants to try and how unsure he felt about the last batch of cookies he's baked - it's in that moment that Chan notices that he hasn't eaten a single one yet and feels guilt wash over him.  
  
"It's okay, I'll get you some for dessert," Felix says. "Now be a dear and feed me that piece of salmon over there, will you?" Chan doesn't know how to deny him, not when a smile is creeping onto the younger's lips. He picks the piece up with his chopsticks and holds it up to his mouth - Felix devours it in one bite.  
  
"Gross," Jeongin mumbles around a mouth-full of sushi.  
  
"You guys are so sweet that it makes me sick," Changbin remarks, but proceeds to stuff his face with more food.  
  
"You act like we've never fed each other food."  
  
"No, it's obviously something that we all do," Changbin begins explaining, setting his chopsticks aside. "But the both of you weren't really that affectionate until you started dating. So it's a little strange."  
  
"But not uncomfortable," Seungmin is quick to add.  
  
"We're actually really happy for you," Hyunjin confesses, the tips of his ears a little red. "You know, that you've found someone. It doesn't happen often that things work out when you work in a field like ours."  
  
"How do you know that we're going to work out?"  
  
"Oh, come on," Changbin laments and Chan can't help but let out a giggle. "You're obviously soulmates."  
  
"If STAY can see it, then we can, too," Seungmin says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world and Chan knows that he's trying his hardest to supress an eye-roll.  
  
That's just the way the guys are - they pretend to be annoyed, but in reality, it's how they show they care. It takes the pressure off of situations that should be a big deal and Chan feels grateful. Always so, so grateful for his members.  
  
"So, what's next?", Chan asks the lot of them after they've all finished dinner.  
  
"Presents, obviously," Jisung replies, making a weird face.  
  
"You guys should get started on the dishes while we're setting everything up," Minho suggests, pointing to Chan and Felix.  
  
"You're just trying to talk yourself out of doing the dishes," Chan accuses, but agrees nonetheless. Minho shoots him a wink before disappearing around the dorm with everyone else.  
  
The atmosphere suddenly becomes louder than it's been all day. A bunch of excited screams echo through the halls, doors slam and Chan can hear Seungmin start to sing Silent Night out of nowhere. He can't help but chuckle.  
  
As Chan is stacking the dishes, he notices Santa Baby running in the background. He loves that song.  
  
_"I've been an awful good guy, Santa Buddy,"_ Chan sings as dramatically as he can, coming up behind Felix who has already begun washing some of the dishes and putting his hands on his waist. _"And hurry down the chimney tonight."_ Felix lets out such a lovely little laugh, it makes Chan feel giddy.  
  
"Michael totally dude-zoned Santa in that song."  
  
"That hurts," Chan responds, leaning his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder. Felix hums contendedly.  
  
"Are you just going to watch me do the dishes instead of help?", Felix asks without much bite, just amusement in his tone. Chan simply tightens his vice-like grip.  
  
"I love when you're like this," Chan admits. "So domestic. Reminds me of what can be." Felix halts mid-movement. He doesn't say or do anything for a while, seemingly lost in thought.  
  
"What do you mean?", he asks finally, turning his head slightly to the side so he can look at the older. Chan gulps, unsure how he's supposed to phrase what he wants to say.  
  
"Whenever I think about the future, I see you in it," Chan tells him, his thumbs rubbing circles on his boyfriend's hips. "It's like I can't imagine you ever not being there, you know?" Chan can see that Felix is trying to supress a smile.  
  
"What are we doing in your imaginative future?"  
  
"We're retired and have our own house with a big yard for our four dogs. The other guys live close by," Chan starts explaining, his voice dreamy. "I still produce music for old time's sake and you force me out of my chair every night. You make me a cup of hot chocolate with some cookies on the side and I'll ask you about your day. I love listening to you. Always loved listening to you." Chan sees Felix visibly swallow.  
  
"That sounds nice," Felix replies, genuine.  
  
Chan contemplates his next words carefully, but decides to just go for it.  
  
"We're married," Chan says and he feels Felix tense. "I haven't decided on kids yet." The younger suddenly drops the sponge and the plate he had been cleaning into the sink, turning around in Chan's arms.  
  
"You wanna get married?", Felix questions, his eyes a little glassy. Chan nods.  
  
"Is that a problem?"  
  
"No! Gosh, no, Chris," Felix breathes out, putting a hand over one of Chan's still resting at his hip. "I've been in love with you for the past three years. I just wasn't expecting to hear that from you. Took me by surprise."  
  
"Good surprise, I hope."  
  
"With you?", Felix asks rhetorically, a big smile decorating his features. "Always." The younger's hands snake upwards and come to rest on Chan's neck. He begins to lean in.  
  
Chan wants to meet him half-way - just as their lips are about to touch, the guys call for them. Chan sighs.  
  
"They're such cockblocks," Chan mumbles, letting go of Felix a little begrudgingly.  
  
"I'll make it up to you, don't worry," Felix replies smugly, drying his hands off on a towel. Chan swallows.  
  
"Let's go," he says simply as he grabs Felix's hand so they can go meet the others.  
  
The guys dimmed down the living room - it looks even more magical like this, with just the fairy lights and a couple of candles. All of their presents are stacked neatly underneath the tree.  
  
"Alright," says Changbin, getting everyone's attention. "How are we going to do this?"  
  
"I'd say we just give a present to whoever we feel like?", Felix proposes, raising his shoulders as if in question. No one seems to have a better idea and simply nods.  
  
The whole thing is less than organized - Chan can't really bring himself to care seeing how excited everyone's being.  
  
"You got me perfume?", Jisung asks in Minho's direction, a both joyful and disbelieving expression on his face.  
  
"You smell," Minho answers with a shrug, obviously trying to play it cool. "Wanted to get you something nice." Jisung looks equal parts annoyed and touched as he grabs a bag from under the tree and chucks it at the older.  
  
A screech can be heard from the other side of the room where Hyunjin is unpackaging a gift from Felix. He pulls a red and green striped sweater from in between the layers of gift wrap and holds it into the air.  
  
"Holy shit," he breathes out - Chan can't really tell if he loves or hates it.  
  
"Wait, what is it?"  
  
Hyunjin turns the sweater around and reveals a reindeer surrounded by snowflakes on the front. Chan can't help but laugh - it's quite possibly the ugliest Christmas sweater he's ever seen, but it's got this weird charm about it.  
  
"It's so ugly that I love it," Hyunjin admits, hugging the piece of fabric against his chest. Felix lets out a giggle from where he's sitting at the end of the couch. Hyunjin gives him a quick hug in thanks.  
  
It's loud and chaotic and the living room looks like an absolute mess by the time they're done, but Chan loves this. He loves how peaceful and _normal_ it feels compared to their usual schedules. He loves that he can let all the stress engrained deeply into his bones go for one day.  
  
By the time they're done unwrapping gifts, Chan can feel his chest fill with nervousness. The others decide to watch another movie in the living room - Felix is just about to take a seat on the couch when his eyebrows furrow, seemingly aware that something is up.  
  
"You guys start the movie without us," Felix tells them, grabbing Chan by the hand. He starts to pull the older along in the direction of their bedroom.  
  
"Have fun," Hyunjin calls after them with a wave, a smirk on his face.  
  
"Gross!", Jeongin exclaims, making a disgusted expression.  
  
"Alright," Felix huffs out once they've arrived in the privacy of their shared room. "What's up?"  
  
Chan feels out of answers - he sits down on the bed to buy himself time, patting the space next to him. Felix easily complies.  
  
Chan takes a couple of breaths, thinking of what to say. Then he decides that he doesn't have to impress Felix with big words and should simply let the present speak for itself.  
  
"I didn't give you your gift yet. I know you don't care as much about material things," Chan begins explaining and Felix simply nods, waiting for him to go on. Chan swallows heavily. "So, I wrote you a song."  
  
Felix's chin falls open.  
  
"You did what?"  
  
"Yeah, I wrote you a song." Felix's eyes suddenly become soft.  
  
Chan honestly doesn't know why he didn't do it sooner - nowadays Felix occupies his thoughts much more than he should.  
  
On a day where everything was becoming _too_ much, Chan grabbed a pen and some paper and wrote. He wrote about Felix's freckles, his tiny hands, how his voice raises in pitch whenever he laughs, how his eyes turn to slits when he's smiling hard and simply about how much Chan loves and cares for him.  
  
This is the first time Chan's wrote a song outside of work in years. He's rarely ever been this vulnerable and open.  
  
But that's okay, because Felix feels like home. It's easy with him.  
  
"You wanna hear it?"  
  
"Please." Chan nods, reaching underneath the bed to grab for his guitar - he fumbles and struggles for a bit, causing Felix to let out a set of giggles.  
  
Chan thinks that he'll gladly make a fool out of himself if it's for Felix's amusement.  
  
Once his guitar is perched on his thigh, he lets his thumb strum over each string to check that it's still tuned. He deems it good enough and takes one last breath to calm down his nerves.  
  
And then he starts playing.  
  
Chan grabs the chords with ease, muscle-memory guiding his fingers across the frets.  
  
Felix looks about ready to burst into tears when Chan starts singing. The older fears he will, too, so he concentrates even harder on hitting the notes and getting his emotions across - it appears to work, because Felix is listening so intently, like he's feeding off of every single word Chan is producing.  
  
_"I long for love, as long as it's you, you're my only truth in a world full of excuse,"_ Chan sings the chorus, throwing every emotion he's had bottled-up inside himself for the past three years onto the table for Felix to see. _"And no matter how I try, I still lose this fight, so, please don't leave, 'cause you're all I need."_ Felix really does let a tear slip, then, a laugh mixed with a wet sob leaving his lips.  
  
Chan loves Felix, _so_ much.  
  
Chan loves Felix to the point of creation, to the point where he'd cross rivers and deserts and mountains to be with him, to the point where he'd defeat all evils of the world just to make him happy.  
  
Felix feels the same way and that knowledge calms Chan, gives him a sense of tranquility. To know that they can always depend on each other, that they'll always _be there_ no matter what.  
  
And when Chan looks at Felix, with his eyes glassy, his cheeks tear-stained, he's still as beautiful as ever.  
  
Felix will always be beautiful to Chan, even when they're seventy and sitting on the porch of their home that they've built together and watching their dogs race across the yard.  
  
Felix is so effortless - even when he's bare-faced, wearing sweats and a hoodie too big for him, he takes Chan's breath away, simply because he's _Felix_. He's kind and generous and bright and more than Chan had ever hoped for.  
  
Felix feels like a warm hug after a long day. He feels like a song that Chan could listen to over and over. He feels like a kiss on the forehead, a sign of affection.  
  
Felix doesn't just _feel_ like home to Chan - he _is_ home.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed 
> 
> comments and/or kudos are always greatly appreciated! <3


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